Personal Growth

You Can Have the Prize!

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As I write this I am watching my eldest son, Ben, train with his soccer team. Ben was selected to play for an under 15 NPL team, the highest level club team. He has been training forsoccer-ball-goal-net-28512282 a couple of months. Today was the first day of training for those in the second and third divisions.

As I watched Ben and his first division teammates train I noticed that they had an intensity and purpose to their training. They all desire to be the best, and hopefully go on to national and international representation. When I looked across at the lower divisions, there was not the same and intensity. Some of the second division players had good skills, but were not as fit, or willing to push themselves, and they didn’t have the same desire and commitment in their training as the first division players.

This had me thinking about life. As a trainer, personal coach and pastor I have met some very talented and gifted people. Yet the gifted and talented do not always shine. I have seen some people with extraordinary talent in certain areas walk away from using and developing their gift because there was too much work involved. I can recall an extraordinary musician leaving a music school because there was a mix up when they enrolled. I have seen a brilliant mathematician (averaging 97%) leave higher education because it was too much work. Just as at our son’s soccer training, I have seen talented sports people leave sport because they didn’t want to put in the effort to train.

Talent is not the answer to achieving in life. Being gifted is not a guarantee of becoming who you were made to be. Every body has a God given dream inside them. But having a dream and being gifted and talented isn’t enough. We need to understand that there is also a price to pay to be who God made us to be.

Ben decided he wanted to be the best player he could, so he started training. He wanted to play at the highest level, so at the end of last season when everybody else his age was winding down Ben started a running and exercise routine. When many boys his age were laying on the couch over Christmas watching TV, Ben was working on his ball skills.

To achieve the
dream that is inside us takes dedication, sacrifice and commitment. Talent and gifting may get us started, but it is character, commitment and sacrifice that will achieve the goal.

No doubt there will be setbacks and disappointments. The first club Ben tried out for already had their roster so they said no. He tried other teams and they were also already full. But Ben held on to his dream and kept training, thinking he would be ready when trials came up in a year’s time. However the unexpected happened. One of the teams suddenly had four spots open up and because Ben had paid the price and kept training he was ready, and was selected. He didn’t let the disappointments keep him from his dream. He kept preparing himself in readiness. This is the commitment, dedication and sacrifice needed to fulfil our dreams, even when it looks like it can’t and won’t happen.

From the sidelines people may think he was just in the right place at the right time. Yes, he was. But he was also ready because of the work he had done to take advantage of the opportunity. If he had stopped training he would not have been fit enough or skilled enough to
be selected. Several boys missed out because they couldn’t keep up – they weren’t fit enough.

What is your dream? What would you like to achieve? Are you putting in the time and effort to position yourself to achieve it? If the dream is worth it then there is sacrifice involved. It may mean not buying items you want because you are saving for a house. It may mean having to study at night after work to get the job you desire. It may mean getting up earlier in the morning to exercise to become fit and healthy.

Everything has a price. Will you stand out from the crowd and pay the price, or will you settle and probably regret it. The choice is ours. No one said it would be easy, but when we achieve the goal, the sacrifice is forgotten, and we enjoy the achievement.

Make a decision today. Write down your goal. Work out the next step to achieving it and go for it! Make the commitment, decide you will overcome the setbacks, push forward and attain the prize.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.” (1 Corinthians 9:24)

Watch out for the Cross Trainer!

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I was sharing last week with some friends about the first time I joined a gym. My local gym was having an amazing special, so I joined up with my eldest daughter, and we made a commitment to go at least 3 times a week – and for the most part  we did. I was shown by the gym instructor the weights section and given an exercise plan for completing the circuit and using weights. His closing comment was that I should then go over and do half an hour cardio workout using some of the equipment. There was all the usual stuff, exercise bikes, treadmills, and my personal favourite the rowing machine.

In among all these machines was the cross trainer. Now I had never used a cross trainer, but after a few days of going and getting my fitness up a little, I thought I would have a go. I stepped on the machine and was faced with all the buttons and levels. A little unsure at what level to start with,  I thought I would check out what level the guy next to me was on. Now to put it in context, the guy on the machine next to me was about 80 years of age. I saw the level he was working at and thought that would be a good starting point – after all the guy was 80 so surely I could do better than him. On the other side was a lady who looked to be his wife around the same age. She was at the same level so this convinced me that I should start there and work my way up.

So I set the level and off I went. After a whole three minutes – yes three minutes – my heart was pounding, I was out of breath and could feel myself about to collapse. At about 6 minutes I stopped the machine and sat down on a step at the end. My daughter came over looking very concerned – looking  like I was about to have a heart attack. The front counter lady was leaning around the corner phone in hand ready tcrosstrainero call an ambulance, and I was getting some very concerned looks from those around me. I wasn’t having a heart attack, there was nothing wrong with me – except that I couldn’t keep up with a couple of 80 year olds in a gym!

I headed home my ego damaged, my daughter (and my wife once my daughter had relayed the story to her) in hysterics at my being done in by a couple of 80 year olds, and a  new determination to head back to the rowing machine and designating cross trainers to a new type of torture machine.

As I reflected on this I got to thinking about life. When I got on that cross trainer I wasn’t ready for what it needed. I hadn’t done the preparation work to be at the level I tried to exercise at. Life is like that. We go through life and it throws us curve balls that knock us off our feet. Maybe it is at school or work and we face the challenge of dealing with difficult peers, or work we find too challenging. Maybe it is in our marriage as we try to work out how a relationship really works, and who is this person I married. Maybe it is raising kids and realising that all the books say something different, and none of them seem to suit your situation anyway, and what really is a good parent? Maybe it is dealing with rent or mortgage payments, juggling car payments and schools bills and all the rest.

All of these things throw us off balance, can get our heart racing, and leave us feeling overwhelmed. And we look next door and the person there seem to be cruising through, and we wonder what we did wrong.

Well I find at times like this, it is great to have God in your corner. I don’t know what your view of God is, and if He is real to you or not, but let me leave you with this thought. I discovered a lot of years ago that there is a God – Jesus Christ. And I discovered He was not sitting up in heaven waiting for me to mess up so He could punish me and throw lightning bolts at me. Rather I discovered that Jesus cares about me, that He wants the best for me, and that when I am going through a tough time He wants to know about it and help me through it. I discovered I can talk with Him (in other words pray – its just a conversation with God) and that He listens and gets me through my day when it is all going up the creek without a paddle. And I find that when I mess up I can ask Him for forgiveness and help in getting it right – and he forgives me and does help me.

Most of all I find that he has taken away the guilt and hurt and shame I have carried in my life and given me forgiveness. You see Christianity is not about rules and thou shall and shall not; it about  a relationship with a real and living God, receiving his love and forgiveness, and living the best life possible through His power.

Think about your life as you head out today. Think about the things you have done well, and the times where you have messed up. God loves you regardless and wants to set you free from the guilt you carry, and desires for yo to be the best you that you can be. Think about having more of God in your life – maybe talking with Him and letting Him know how your doing, getting along to a good local church,  and discovering more of how great God is. It will help you to train yourself for running the race of life a little better – oh, and watch out for those cross trainers!

Are You SMART?

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There is a lot of talk around today about goal setting, getting priorities straight, and discovering and achieving our purpose. As I talk with people, I find many don’t know how to set a goal, and when they do set goals, find motivation falls away quickly to achieve it. So how can goals be set that are real, sustainable, and can actually be achieved? The answer is SMART Goals.

SMART Goals are goals that actually bear a resemblance to life. SMART Goals give you a direction and purpose that is real and let you know when you have achieved the goal, leading to a sense of satisfaction, achievement and motivation to go high r and further than you ever thought possible. SMART Goals actually keep you on track! So what actually is a SMART Goal? SMART is actually an acronym, with each letter being a key component of ensuring your goal has a real bearing on your life or project. The concept it to take each goal and put it through the SMART process, helping to make the goal clearer and easier to achieve. As we unpack the SMART Goal process lets modify two common goals into SMART Goals to see what a difference the process can make.

Goal 1: To lose weight

Goal 2: To be a better person

Specific – Is the goal specific or is it too general. By being specific you will be able to focus on the outcome without ambiguity, allowing you to focus your attention in the right direction, leading to a greater sense of achievement when you reach the goal.

Measurable – Is the goal measurable? Can you tell when you have achieved it? We have added specificity to it, now we need to ensure we can measure the point of achievement. So how does this work with our two examples? To amend these to being Specific and Measurable they could be changed as follows:

Goal 1: To lose 10 kg

Goal 2: To compliment someone

Achievable – Can you achieve what is set before you. Is it something you think you can do? This is about your will – do you really want to do it. I once set myself the goal of playing guitar, yet discovered when I started playing that I didn’t want to put the work in to do it. I liked the idea of playing guitar, but didn’t want to pay the price of practicing to achieve it. Think about your goal – do you really want to do, or do you just like the idea of doing it?

Realistic – Can you realistically achieve the goal? Is it within your capabilities to do it? People often set themselves goals in a time frame (see next point) they can’t realistically achieve. They push the limits of what they can do too much and, when they start to hit obstacles, lose focus and stop working towards the goal. Ensure in goal setting that you can realistically achieve what you aim for.

Timed – Does you goal have a time frame? Every goal needs to be bound by a time frame to ensure there is accountability and motivation to achieve it. If there is no time frame, there is no urgency in achieving the goal, and it will remain unachieved. Set a clear time frame for the achievement of your goal, but make sure it is realistic. A Bill Gates is credited as once saying, “Most people over project what they can achieve in a year, and under project what they can achieve in 5 years”. Don’t be afraid to add in a little extra time to your goal if it means you can realistically achieve it, and it keeps you motivated towards achieving it. You don’t want to burn yourself out with too severe a time frame, but you also don’t want to give too loose a deadline so that you lose motivation.

So if we look our original two goals:

Goal 1: To lose weight

Goal 2:To be a better person

We can see that these goals are not specific, measurable, timed, and it is not clear when it will be achieved so it is unrealistic to think there will be any motivation to achieve them.

However if we were to rewrite them as SMART Goals they may look something like:

Goal 1: To lose 10 kg over the next 12 months through a daily exercise programme and a healthy eating programme

Goal 2: To genuinely compliment someone in my world before midday every day, and record this in my journal over the next 12 months.

Both of these goals have now been transformed into SMART Goals with clear action expectations attached to them. The goal setter now knows exactly what they are committing to, and have a record of the achievement to celebrate in 12 months’ time

your awesome

HOW YOU GROWING

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I find in the world of leadership training, counselling and pastoral work people constantly telling me what they should be doing, yet I notice they aren’t doing it.

This was highlighted for me recently when I was working with about 15 Financial Planners on developing team skills. I asked this group how many of them actually had a financial plan for the next 10 years of their life. 2 in the room said they did. I then asked them how many had a budget that worked to. Only 1 did. I asked if anyone had a 3-5 year goal, and 5 out of the 15 acknowledge they did.

I was amazed that this room of high level financial planners who all stated they believed it was very important to have a financial goal, on the most part did not have one themselves.

Many people want to make the best if their life, they want to make a difference, but don’t have a plan to do so. They then hit “mid-life” and wonder what they have done with their life as they realise retirement is only a short distance away (though with ongoing governed changes none of us will reach retirement as they keep pushing the age higher!).

Statistics tell us that of all those who read this article around 5% will actually follow through and make a change. So to the 5% let me share with you some simple steps to get your life on track to fulfil your purpose. I encourage you to adopt the GROWmethod.

G is for Goal

What goals do you want to achieve? What would you like to do with your life that is impacting? Maybe it is run your own business, or be CEO of another. Maybe it is to work with those less fortunate than yourself, or be a minister or chaplain. Maybe you have a sporting goal, or a holiday goal.  What is your life goal? Be as specific as you can. Take time out to make sure you really want to achieve the goal, and know why you want to do it. Knowing why will keep you motivated through the tough times. When you know – write it down as clearly as possible.

R is for Reality

The reality is where you are right now. Maybe you have a weight loss goal. Identify honestly what you weigh now. Where are you at compared to your goal. What do you have or don’t have in regards to where you are aiming for? Take stock of your life and identify where you currently are on the road to achieving your life’s purpose.

O is for Options

When you know what your goal is, and have identified where you are, what options are available for you to close the gap between your Goals and Reality? What steps can you take to achieve your goals. Put this into a series of SMART Goals (see blog on SMART Goals coming up next). What do you need to change to achieve your goals? Who in your world can assist you? Put together a realistic plan with realistic time frames around them – steps to achieving your goal starting from where you are.

W is for Will

Do you have the will to take action? Do you gave the desire to put in the work to achieve what is your purpose in life. If not, then why not? Is it because you don’t believe in the goal? If so then reassess the goal. Does it look to hard? Maybe you can break it into smaller steps over a longer period to make it a bit easier. I once had a goal to play the guitar, but realised when I mapped it out I didn’t have the will to pay the price of practicing every day. I liked the idea of playing the guitar, but didn’t want to pay the price. Do you have the will? If not, is it because it is not really your goal, or is there something blocking you. Identify the blockage, and make a plan to overcome it. You can do it!

When God made you, He made you with a plan and purpose. He made you awesome. He describes you as Wonderfully Made! Don’t settle for anything less than being all you were made to be!